Greetings From (Soviet) Albany

Haphazardly Learning Hungarian While Considering the Art of Defending Oneself with a Toblerone

I was accepted into Central European Universities (located in Budapest, Hungary) LL.M program in International Business Law, so my domestic partner/girlfriend decided that we should try to pick up the language. I’m not sure if there ever was a more unique language to try to learn.

First of all, let’s start with the fact that it’s a Finno-Ubric language. Now unless you study languages or have a Masters degree in Central/Eastern European Studies from Georgetown, this will mean nothing to you. AND THERE IS NO REASON TO KNOW THIS! Only Finnish, Hungarian, and Estonian are Finno-Ubric. Why oh why do all the language books harp on this useless point? It’s not like I’m looking at the word dumbfounded and then once it dawns on me that Hungarian is Finno-Ubric then PRESTO I immediately become fluent.

Second of all, Legeslegmegszentsegtlenithetetlenebbeiteknek is a real word in Hungarian. It means: “for you deeds of utmost ability to withstand desanctification,” which in itself doesn’t make sense!

So besides torturing myself with Hungarian, I have taken a new game on my way to work. I walk 2 miles to work each day and I need things to keep my mind occupied. I started imagining what I would do if I was attacked by a wrongdoer on my walk. Being not intimidating, I decided that I would have to use something that I’m carrying to defend myself.

So, the game starts with me trying to figure out a way to defend myself with whatever it is that I’m carrying that day. For instance, a Toblerone bar. If attacked, I would shove the Toblerone in the attacker’s eye, blinding her (notice the gender conscience word choice) just long enough for my escape.

More often than not, I’m armed with a Starbucks coffee cup. This allows for more options to defend yourself. You could throw the hot coffee in her face, but that’s oblivious. So I think I’d throw the coffee at her legs, scolding them and causing the attacker in bend down. Just then I’d smash the attacker in the nose with my empty cup and run away.

OK, OK…I need to get back to learning Finno-Ubric languages.

REJECTION OF THE WEEK

So here's how this will work. I have been applying to jobs since I graduated law school in May. I have a ton of rejections. And instead of horde them...why not share. Once a week I'll post a rejection and comment on it's contents. I hope you all will enjoy.

AUGUST 23, 2010- Montana Legal Services Association

Re: Indian Law Project -AmeriCorps Legal Fellow

Monday, August 23, 2010 12:58 PM

Good Morning Ms. Cottrill:

This position has already been filled. Thank you for your time and interest.

Montana Legal Services Association
616 Helena Avenue, Suite 100
Helena, MT 59601
Toll Free: (800) 666-6124 Ext. 34
Ph: (406) 442-9830 Ext. 34
Fx: (406) 442-9817
Websites:
www.mtlsa.org www.MontanaLawHelp.org

Note how they refer to me as a woman. And the brevity!

Rejection purists may say, “This is not a rejection but a clarification of the availability of the position sought.”

To you purist I say, “Shh…Art Crawl..Art Crawl.”

Looking for Funiculars in All the Wrong Places

March 5, 2011 was the annual Pittsfield (Vermont) Snowshoe Marathon. This year I went out with my snowshoes in tow in an attempt to conquer the mountain. In a blazing 7 hours and 22 minutes, I limped across the finish line with tail between my legs. Alas, no funicular on the mountain.

Indiana wants me...and I just went back there...

So I recently went back to the Hoosier state to visit family, introduce my girlfriend to where I grew up, and of course, run a trail marathon at Abe Lincoln’s boyhood home.

We stopped at a festival in Lexington, Kentucky where I was happily surprised to find a man on a camel statue right downtown. I think the actual festival going on downtown had less festival goers than homeless. But at least now I know that Lexington is trying to do something, even if that something is tents with beer-cheese vendors.

The marathon was in Lincoln City State Park which is conveniently located right next door to Santa Claus, IN. We spent the night at Santa’s lodge which was over-run with kids. Upon investigating our food options we found out that there was a great “Mexican or was it Mongolian” restaurant located in Dale. Upon arrival we discovered that it was indeed Mongolian. In fact we had an eight-year old escort us to our booth and tell us to eat as he pointed to the buffet. The food was mediocre (great compared with the other Mongolian places in Southern, IN) but the experience was worthwhile. I wouldn’t want to ruin the experience for anyone reading this who may want to go, but here’s a tip: there is a menu and you don’t have to get the buffet. AND stick to asking the 8 yr old questions. He is the only one who seemed to both speak and understand English. I mean if you speak Mongolian, feel free to chat it up, but I’m guessing the majority of you don’t.

After the Marathon, which I placed 13^th out of 16 runners and was my worst time ever (I ran better with the flu in Russia), we went to West Baden Springs resort to relax with the Third Reich. Who would have thought that swastika’s were still in style in this 500 million dollar renovated spa? It was a very nice establishment which wasn’t afraid of the possible negative connotation that the swastika had took on after WWII.

Then it was on to the home town to visit the family and see Indiana in the fall. Overall, we had a good time. Indiana never ceases to surprise me. There were many more funny stories involving Amish, time zones, libraries, and dirty minor league hockey mascots… but one can only stomach so much Hoosier tales in a blog.

Sleeping In The Flowers

Tall Ships and Burnt Buses

This weekend I went to the Tall Ships Regatta. It was full of tall ships. On Saturday, I went alone down to Lieutenant Schmidt Embankment to see the festivities first hand.

There were dancers (notice the dancer on the left giving a pelvic thrust in the general direction of the 9 year old), ships, and general festivities. Being that I have no idea what the hell makes one boat better than the other, I decided to watch the street-ball tournament for an hour and drink a couple beers. Then it seemed like a good time to go home and pass out for a bit.

On my way home I saw this crazy burnt up bus. It was still spewing liquids all over the street when I arrived. It was just across the street from my apartment and the locals were milling about talking it up.

Sunday, I went back down to see the boats with my fellow intern Katya. We were amazed by the lack of people there. But we saw this crazy statue of a disinterested man accosting a half naked hysterical woman while some cat type beast lurks under his feet. I'm sure it's famous or symbolic or something.

The boats were still tall though. And Katya decided to paint a clay mask at the art booth. I decided to watch. We saw a few bands play after that and called it a day at the annual Tall Ship Regatta.

I really can't say that it wasn't fun but I still have no idea why tall ships are something to see.